Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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