Im at strip club and am horny
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
