Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
