I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
