if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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