Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
