Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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