Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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