Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
