somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
