Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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