im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize