so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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