Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
