Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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