Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
