my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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