she smelled like a LAN party
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
