shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
