still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
