Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
