my sisters under your porch take her home
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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