Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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