Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to calm my uterus...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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