and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize