it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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