There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
