the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You don't make any sense
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