All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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