so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
