just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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