i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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