he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
