where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
