i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
