But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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