He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
