i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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