kristin has been a bad kristin
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
pray to the hookup gods
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
