you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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