I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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