You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
