When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
