we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
