if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
