i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
