Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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