It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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