I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
