oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
