I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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