i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
