Im at strip club and am horny
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
