seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize