found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
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I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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