I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
