I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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