so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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