I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
