Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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