so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
