Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
