I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
