dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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