when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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