You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
