I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
